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I had really figured as much, so I wasn’t overwhelmed by the news. I could tell by the tone in my mother-in-law’s voice she wasn’t elated by the news. ‘If you only knew, Mom.’ I thought.The day passed slowly and I had a lot of thinking to do. Early that evening, I had come to two conclusions. One, any thought of a relationship with Beth was over and two, I had no clue as to how to explain to Jennifer that I was just not interested in another relationship. She, of course, had no way of knowing about Beth, and I had no intention of telling her. I just felt that I was better alone, it worked for me. And deep down in my heart, did I really think anyone could replace Susan?Jennifer called around six, she was on her way over. I had everything done, so I just watched TV until the doorbell rang. I went to the door, opened it and invited her in. She was dressed in blue jeans, a red sweater and white blouse. She looked really nice. I closed the door behind her and led her to the great. I stopped right with her. Once again she bowed her head, “Yeah I did.” I looked at her but couldn’t see much emotion on her face because she had bowed her head and hidden her face as her hair fell forward. “And…????” She cleared her thought, “And I thought it was sweet.” She rose her head to look at me, “Is that why you tried avoid the topic so much?” This time I wanted to bow my head so I could hide my face but I found my strength and continued to look into her eyes. I simply nodded my head. It was difficult at first but the more I looked at her the more I watched as her eyes begin to tear up. “Because you wanted me to be your first?” I scratched my head and realized that me losing my virginity wasn’t a big deal to me. The thing that I realized at the moment when I did have sex was that I had fallen in love with Amanda. I just didn’t recognize it until now. I wanted to beat the crap out of myself for letting the realization take me so long to figure it out. I scoffed for a second.
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